Encouraging Your Man to Exercise

While it is common for men to exercise more than women, whether single, married, divorced, or widowed (DePaulo, 2011), there are cases when you may be concerned about your man’s lack of physical activity. He may find fitness activities boring, or simply fill his time with hobbies or other pursuits.  Many jobs in today’s world are very sedentary, and it is a challenge to fight the norm of an inactive lifestyle.  As you encourage your spouse or significant other to exercise, I hope these do’s and don’ts help guide you along the way.

Do:

• Explain to your spouse that exercise will benefit them – i.e. they will be more alert during their workday, control their low back pain, or manage stress more effectively. See Exercise Benefits for other ideas.  Exercise may be put on the back burner indefinitely if there does not appear to be any reward for the effort.
• Support your spouse by offering time for them to exercise. Make room in their schedule. Say “Hey, I can watch the kids after dinner tonight if you’d like to go out for a bike ride.”
• Invite them to exercise along with you… and keep the invitation open! I often exercise in the early morning before the kids are awake, with the express goal of getting my husband to workout with me (he’s more a morning person than I am).  While it may be rare for him to take me up on my offer, he knows it's a standing invitation.
• Tell your spouse that you are attracted to him when he’s sweaty…unless of course you are not... in which case I wouldn't say anything. =)
• Encourage your spouse to do the physical activities they love to do. My husband loves to play Ultimate Frisbee and basketball, but I could not pay him to train for a race as he is simply not interested.  Obviously it makes sense that because Ultimate Frisbee and basketball are both great forms of exercise, I should try to make ways for him to enjoy those sports.
• Join him in those activities that he loves or tolerates.  My husband doesn’t love to bike as much as I do, but he definitely tolerates it and perhaps enjoys it a little bit. I may not love (or be great at!) basketball or Frisbee, but we have a fun time when we play and we both get in some fitness.

Do Not:

• Tell your spouse that he will die if he does not exercise… or make other radical claims.  I don’t know about your guy, but mine does not go for dramatics.
• Push him out of bed in the morning and tell him to go running when it is 15 degrees outside. You may, however, try pulling him out if you are already dressed to run along with him.
• Tell him he is unattractive and you wish he worked out more often.  Or you wish he were more like those Ryan Gosling memes, so often seen on Pinterest. 
•  Make him attend a group fitness class when you know it will be all women.  That takes a lot of confidence for a guy and I think it’s unkind to put that kind of pressure on anyone.
• Put away dinner before he gets home, telling him that you’ll feed him after he goes to the gym. 
• Make comments about his couch potato behavior when he is watching a sports game.  If he hears you at all, it will go in one ear and out the other.
• Purposely leave him behind at your son’s soccer game and make him walk home, because you think he needs the exercise.

Ouch, yes?  

We have the opportunity to be awesome encouragers and promoters of health in our families.  If fitness is not something you are consistent in quite yet, enlist the help of your man and do it together.  Even if he does not have a great interest in fitness, you may be surprised to find that he will exercise just to hang out and support you! 


Reference: 

ePaulo, B. (2011, January 14). Living Single. Retrieved from Psychology Today:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-single/201101/men-women-single-married-who-really-exercises-more