When Momma Ain’t Happy…

We know this one, right? When momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.  

Such a true statement. 

As moms we can either use our influence to make our homes a wonderful place, or we can allow our negativity to make our home into a place our children or spouses avoid whenever possible.  While we all have rough days, I imagine we all desire to have a happy home and be a joyful person that people want to be around.    

I have met many supermoms. They are amazing! Their kids do awesome things and they do awesome things with their kids.  Their energy seems boundless and they always seem so positive.  I am not a supermom.  I have days that I would rather just wipe off the calendar and not speak of again. Definitely not pretty.

Now, I think the supermoms have figured something out ahead of the rest of us. 

What might that be?

It is good and necessary to spend time on yourself.  When we are so battle worn and weary that we are unable to care for ourselves, we automatically take it out on our families.  We need to care for our bodies and minds, so that we are able to be the positive pillars in our families’ lives.  While I cannot avoid every bad day, I have learned that I need to do some things just for me.  This pregnancy has been exhausting.  While I can’t always get to bed as early as I’d like, I do allow myself to sleep in a little a few days a week.  I get up when my 3 year old gets up, rather than a half hour or hour beforehand. While I may get less things done on those mornings, my family appreciates that I got more sleep! I am slower to criticize and be negative, and I start the day on a much kinder note. 

Secondly, I need stress relief.  I am naturally a person that holds onto stress and I take things to heart that my easy-going husband would just let roll off his back.  Exercise is my biggest stress relief.  Although I usually teach several fitness classes during the week, I also need time to workout on my own.  Whether it is putting on headphones and zoning out while strength training, or running outdoors and listening to nature, I need time to process life and put it together in my head.  Is this time usually spent away from my family? Yes. While I love my family, I would much rather exercise on my own or with a friend whenever possible.  Does it seem selfish to spend this time on myself? Sometimes. Although I try to make my workouts early in the morning or late at night, they will occasionally impact the time I have with my family.  

Is it worth it? Yes.  Having time to myself to release stress and think through life is important.  I am calmer after a good workout, and can fight through issues on a kickboxing bag so that I don’t take out the problem on my husband or my kids.  

I need to be attentive to my primary triggers - sleep, stress, and exercise.  When I get enough sleep, it is easy to exercise, I am less stressed, I eat much healthier and I feel good. When I let stress overwhelm me or exhaustion overtake me, I eat poorly, feel poorly and take it out on those around me. 

For me to be able to love on my family, I have to put some TLC into my own well-being.  While your triggers may be much different than mine, finding those key areas you need to focus on might well make you and your home into a much happier place. 

Because…when Mom is happy, everyone’s happy. 

 *I know that finding time to yourself can be the biggest issue, especially for single moms or those with husbands that travel often.  Try to use your lunch break at work to get out on your own for a walk, or employ a relative to watch your children so you can get away for a bit. See Fitting in Fitness for more ideas on how to make exercise work into your life.